Notes to Self: Daily Reminders on Resting In The Process

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It don’t feel good/ But growing never does/ It don't seem fair/ for you to call this love/ But if necessary pain/ is the ingredient for change/ Even when life may seem bittersweet/ It’s working… Just For Me!

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I’ve probably listened to this song ‘Just for Me” by Kirk Franklin 5 times in a row. It is this very song that speaks to how I feel in this current season of my life. I’ve found myself questioning my indecisiveness, my inconsistencies, my inability to follow through on certain things in my life, and what feels like my eagerness to get it right. But, what does getting it right look like? Have you ever felt this way? Sometimes, I feel as though I get so caught up in the time that it takes for me to change or adapt to the lifestyle in which I’m being called to, that I haven’t taken the time to rest in the process.

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About three months ago, I remember asking God to fix me. I begged him to make me right. I cried out to him asking him to forgive me because my battle with postpartum depression and anxiety had thrown me completely offtrack. My relationship with him wasn’t like it used to be. I was no longer waking up early in the morning to fellowship with him. I couldn’t and sometimes still can’t muster up the strength to show up for myself in the capacity in which I know that I can. It was in these moments and in these lyrics that I found it easier to live in my current circumstances versus focusing on God and allowing him to walk me through this current season.

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Three months ago, I asked God to help me get our relationship back to where it used to be. That was the problem, I so desired to relieve what once was instead of asking God to refresh and renew our relationship. God doesn’t take us backwards he moves us forward in life.

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 Notes to Self... Resting in the Process

“You don’t move ahead by constantly looking in a rear view mirror”

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There’s a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror. Where you’re going is so much better then where you’ve been. Just like the lyrics to the song “It don’t feel good, but growing never does.”  Often, God allows us to experience challenges to help us grow and to be more dependent on him. We are not meant to face these trials alone. If we follow the teaching of the Lord, we can draw on His strength to endure trials. What happens to us is less important than how we react to it. Trials can be a blessing if we use them as an opportunity to draw closer to God. The first step is to confess our areas of challenge. Our unbelief.

Running to God may not be your first response because possibly, these could be the areas in life in which you’re struggling to trust him in. According to Mark 9, a man brought his son to Jesus for healing from being possessed by a demon. He asked Jesus to heal him “if you can.” Jesus asked the man if he did not believe that Jesus could heal, and this was his reply.

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Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe;help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24, NIV).  

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He believed, but it was a difficult thing to believe,So He asked for help. One thing I had to shake was the feeling of being judged.As a Christian, you should already know to have faith in God right? You should,but that doesn’t mean that some of us may initially start out by having a difficult time doing so. As we grow in the things of God and mature spiritually, we can’t expect to always find God in the same place as He was before.

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“Those who seek me diligently will find me – Proverbs 8:17NKJV

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Would you agree when I say, we can find ourselves mostly searching for God when things seem out of control in our lives? We only seek him when we need him! And when He doesn’t immediately fix the problem or show up, we may begin to think that He isn’t there. We expect to see outright proof that He is there. The problem with this is that we, in fact, are not seeking God we are seeking proof. We must seek God with all our heart!

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You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. –Jeremiah 29:13

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Seeking God with all your heart means to seek him above all else, regardless of what is going on in your life. It means seeking Him, even when it doesn’t look like He is there. Our ability to do this means being willing to let go of self-pity. Let’s just be real, it’s easier to settle in the perception of where your life is instead of putting in the work both spiritually and naturally to truly experience all that God has for us.

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It is important for me to be transparent. It’s not always easy to be vulnerable in this capacity as I am sure many people (both those I know and those I don’t) may read this post. However, I believe that what we go through in life is not merely just an experience/lesson for us to overcome, but what we go through in life allows us to be the light at the end of the tunnel for other people.

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As a blogger, content creator, and believer it is important that my audience understands that my life is not perfect. I desire to take my readers on a journey through life with me. It is through my devotions, words of encouragement, and my personal story that I will encourage others to stay the course. You’re not the only one to fall short on this journey, you’re not the only one that is unsure, uncertain, or even indecisive.

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We were created perfectly imperfect so that means that we're going to make mistakes. Everybody has a “thing”. My thing may not be your thing but, as we journey through life we must be confident in knowing that “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” –Romans 8:28

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XoXo,

Angie